Smile & Pray...

Smile... Your smile... The first thing that comes to my mind whenever I see someone smiling, I never forget to close my eyes to make each such moment a purely private one. Your thoughts always leave me smiling, and I am equally clueless to understand the connection. I never think often about you... about us... about past... about our past. Now I don’t even remember the pain I had gone through while parting our ways. You moved on and so do I. One thing I always knew that you will always pray for me as you always did in the past.

Even without you I was filled with joy up till now, apart from few initial days. I never felt heartbroken, alone and devastated at that time. I knew it will be a bitter pill to swallow but I handled myself quite well. Where that strength was came from? I felt no major setback on emotional front, no tears under shower, no friendship with alcohol, no cut-off from friends either, apart from some sad tracks. Does that mean we were not sharing a great bond? To be honest, the same question crossed through my head several times. I never forced myself to answer it though.

Things were going good at my side till very recent; I was surrounded by joy and happiness. The only thing that I missed sometimes was your smile, that was too when I saw someone smiling like you do. And I must admit I cherished it every single time.

Since last few days I have seen some drastic changes in my life, all the joy seems to have faded away suddenly.  There is no particular reason behind such a drought. Everything around me is as same as it earlier was. But something is missing. Last evening when I was sipping tea in my balcony thinking on the same issue I saw a kid smiling so innocently just like you. I closed my eyes without wasting a moment but...You were not there. I tried again closing my eyes but did not even have a glimpse of you.

Now I knew you stopped smiling for me...

Now I knew you stopped praying for me...

Many questions started hammering down my head...